Most seekers are not only looking for a group—they are looking for relationship: shared practice, mutual support, and a space where ritual can be done with continuity. A coven is not a service you purchase or a club you join in an afternoon. It is a network of people who can trust one another with spiritual work, and trust takes time.

The goal is not to find any coven; it is to find one that fits your circumstances, capacity, values, and pace. Some people thrive in a small in-person circle. Others rely on online community for a season. Some build a practice community first and only later decide whether “coven” is the right word. All of these are legitimate ways to grow.

In many regions, covens do not advertise openly. Instead, they connect through the public edges of the community—places where people gather to learn, meet, and build trust over time.

Metaphysical or occult bookstores are often the most reliable hubs. Look for workshop calendars, bulletin boards, classes, guest speakers, and community nights. Bookstore owners and instructors frequently know which circles are active, even when those circles remain private.

Workshops, conferences, and festivals (including Pagan Pride events, public sabbats, and regional gatherings) are another common doorway. You’re not hunting for a secret address—you’re meeting people, showing up consistently, and letting familiarity develop.

Local practitioners and “cross-community” spaces can also be bridges: readers, herbalists, holistic centers, and meditation groups sometimes host pagan-friendly events where friendships form naturally.

A good first message is less “Can I join?” and more “Can I learn how you work?” Most groups respond best to sincerity, patience, and a willingness to build relationship before access.

Questions that reveal culture (without prying):

• How do you approach practice—devotional, magical, seasonal, study-focused, or a blend?
• Do you teach new members, or primarily work with established practitioners?
• What is the time commitment like, and how do you handle life changes?
• How do you approach boundaries, consent, and confidentiality?

If a group is private, that does not automatically mean it is unhealthy—it often means they value discretion, continuity, and careful membership. The key is whether privacy is paired with clarity, not pressure.

Not every group using the word “coven” means the same thing. Understanding structure helps you search more effectively—and helps you ask better questions.

Initiatory covens typically involve a formal process of training and entry. Some use trial periods; some use longer study cycles. These covens are often deeply committed to continuity and confidentiality, and they may only consider new members at certain times.

Family or lineage-based covens are often closed or semi-closed by design. They may be centered on long-standing relationships, inherited practice, or small networks of trust. If you encounter one, the lack of open recruitment is usually about preserving structure—not rejecting seekers.

Open or semi-open covens may accept new members periodically, often through conversation, shared public ritual, or a gradual “learning the rhythm” stage. These groups can be an excellent fit for people seeking community with structure, without the intensity of a full initiatory system.

Study circles and practice groups may never initiate at all. They exist to learn together, practice seasonal rites, or support one another. Many strong covens begin as study circles that deepen over time.

Online covens and circles can be real community—especially for those who are rural, disabled, caregiving, discreet, or simply isolated by circumstance. They can provide teaching, companionship, and accountability.

The limitations are mostly practical: the work is less embodied, scheduling can be harder across time zones, and it can take longer to build the kind of interpersonal trust that grows naturally when people share a room. Many practitioners use online community as a meaningful bridge—then add local relationships when they can.

Money itself is not the problem—how it is used matters. Many healthy groups accept donations for space rental, shared supplies, or communal meals. Some established groups also use modest dues to cover ongoing costs.

What deserves extra discernment is a setup where payment becomes a gate to basic human access—such as fees required just to interview, “pay to apply,” or tiered pricing for deeper spiritual belonging. A coven conversation is relationship-building, not a transaction.

Online teaching (including YouTube and courses) can be valuable, but education and membership are not the same thing. A healthy coven is built by ongoing practice, accountability, and shared life—not by performance or branding.

This is not about fear—it’s about building community that can last. The healthiest groups tend to be clear about boundaries, respectful about consent, and steady about expectations. If a group pressures you to rush intimacy, secrecy, or commitment, you are allowed to slow the pace.

Ethical clarity is not restriction—it’s the foundation that allows trust, intimacy, and meaningful work to exist at all. If you’d like to read how we articulate ethics within our own tradition and community, these perspectives may be helpful:

Online tools can help you locate events, practice communities, and points of contact—but they work best as starting places, not guarantees. Many covens do not list publicly, and that privacy is often intentional.

Witchvox (contextual / legacy). Historically one of the biggest directories. Some listings may be inactive now, but it can still be useful for regional context and tradition keywords you can research further.

Mandragora Magika. A widely used pagan events calendar—excellent for conferences, festivals, and public rituals where relationships form.

Meetup. A practical way to find local pagan discussion groups, moon circles, and study circles (often community gateways rather than initiatory covens).

Social platforms. Local Facebook groups (“Pagan [City]”, “Witches of [Region]”), Discord servers, and regional forums can be effective if you engage slowly and build trust over time rather than treating the space like a listing board.

Tradition networks. Some traditions maintain referral-based contact networks rather than public registries. If you’re seeking a specific lineage or initiatory tradition, expect the process to involve patience, conversation, and mutual discernment.

If your path resonates with grounded ritual, ethical practice, and community built through trust rather than transaction, My Cousin’s Coven offers several ways to connect—whether you are seeking guidance, learning resources, or a practice community that grows at a human pace.

Some people arrive looking for a coven and discover, first, the relief of having a place to ask real questions. Others begin by participating in shared work or learning the basics of ritual structure, then decide over time what kind of community is right for them. Either way, you are allowed to move slowly and choose wisely.